


Smiling Flower

by chweseungkwan



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Fluff, M/M, Myfirstfanfic, Romance, Seventeen - Freeform, rapperhansol, traineeau, traineeseungkwan, verkwan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-25
Updated: 2018-02-26
Packaged: 2019-03-23 21:05:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 20,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13796352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chweseungkwan/pseuds/chweseungkwan
Summary: Boo Seungkwan, a trainee, meets Chwe Vernon, a famous hip hop rapper





	1. 0: Characters

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, so basically I already wrote this fanfic about a year ago with different characters. But, I decide to change the character to verkwan because I'm a total trash for my baby verkwan... >.<  
> English is not my first language, so please bear with the grammatical or spelling mistakes...  
> Feel free to leave a comment :)

• Boo Seung Kwan. He was the winner of Jeju Singing Competition for three consecutive years. He already has a fan club named ‘Baby Boo’. He also has a Youtube account and posts lots of cover songs and also his original songs since high school. 

He was born at 1998 and right now is a trainee in Antenna Entertainment which belongs to Yoo Hee Yeol, a Korean songwriter. 

He has reddish short hair and a little bit chubby and squishy cheeks. He believes that he is more a cutie than a handsome boy. With 175 cm in height, he likes to wear oversize pastel colored sweater and a short as his casual style of clothing. He still has a little crush in his previous boyfriend, but after all he had been through he knows that he doesn’t have time to be silly because he has to put his dream as his damn priority.

His dream is to be a singer under his dream agency, Antenna, and he practices his singing skill and writing new song every day. He can't wait to debut as a real singer and share his own music to people.

• Chwe Hansol. Or people called him by his stage name, Vernon. He is one of the member of a famous hip hop group from Pledis Entertainment, Seventeen. He already writes lots of hit song and become the richest singer in Korea.

He is nice in person and takes care of his junior, but he can be a strict person when it comes to music. He really loves perfection in his job. He is also kind of person that put seniority over the top.

After broke up with his girlfriend, he prefers to be single for a while, because he wants to be more focus in making music. 

• Other characters will follow, basically Seventeen members and OCs for cameo.


	2. PART 1 (1): Number of Cases

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seungkwan believes in number of cases which will determine his future

** Seungkwan POV  **

It's already 8 in the morning. After I did my morning exercise which is cardio, I took a shower and put my usual clothing, a white sweater with a small print in the back and a pairs of short blue jeans. When suddenly I got a text from Mr. Yoo

"Seungkwan-ah, please come to my office now. I have something to talk to you."

Well, it's weird, it looks urgent. But anyway I took my denim jacket and my bag, and head out to the Antenna Ent office.

I parked my bicycle in front of the office and not bother to park it properly. I walk to the Mr.Yoo's office with nervous feelings. is something bad happened?  Did I do something wrong? Am I getting kicked out? Hey, Seungkwan you can't be that negative! maybe, just maybe..they will talking about my debut project..well, I hope for the last scenario..

I knocked the door and heard Mr. Yoo voice,

"Seungkwan-ah, you can come."

 I opened the door and saw Mr. Yoo sat with three people, one of them is from Antenna but I don't know about the rest.

"Do you have something to talk about, Mr. Yoo?",

"Oh, sit first, and I want you to meet them. They are Mrs. Han and Mr. Jo."

I bowed, "Nice to meet you."......

"and they are from Pledis Entertainment."

What? Why the people from Pledis come to Antenna? And specifically come to meet me? Is it gonna be a collaboration project or something? I have lots of scenario already in my mind.

Mr. Yoo seems can read my mind and said with a concern look,

"Look Seungkwan-ah...so...ah, I don't know how to say it." he scratched his head. Something is wrong. Oh my God…

"What's wrong, Mr. Yoo? Are you gonna kick me out from this company? Am I no longer a trainee here?" I said it with a broken voice. The song writer from Antenna start to speak,

"No, Seungkwan-shii, well..." she turned to Mr. Yoo,

"I think we should tell him the reason first."

Mr. Yoo looked agree with that advice and said,

"So, Seungkwan-ah, I want you to know that having a job in the entertainment industry is a really difficult job, there will be up and down condition that we should face. And you know that Antenna is a new agency in this industry, we already have lots of rival whether they try to play it fair or not. Unfortunately, we got a problem from an agency that plays a cunning way. It is Line Ent. It's new, but has lots of connection. They start to grow rapidly and try to attack our agency. They start to cut our money and connection with several parties."

He stopped and tried to study my reaction,

"and we know that, we asked them, why they do that and what they want. They said that they want you, Seungkwan-ah, to be their artist and song writer."

Wait what??! I looked very surprise but he still continued,

"but, I can't trust them. I know for sure that they will only use you for their benefits." he took a pace and finally said,

"That is why we will give you to the Pledis Ent as their trainee. I already talked to the CEO and he already agreed with the decision. I don't want to say it, but, if you still here, the Line Ent will keep put this agency into troubles."

And you want to get rid of the parasite? I smile in pityness.

Mrs. song writer added, "and we believe that Line Ent will not have enough gut to mess up with a such big agency like Pledis Ent."

"Before that I want you to know that it is not that we don't want you to be here. In fact, I already fall for your talent in the very first time you sing in the audition." He exhaled and continued with, "but, I'm afraid I can't help you to be a singer here. I believe you can be a really good singer, I mean you are a genius song writer and singer, but Antenna cannot help you to catch your dream."

The Mrs. song writer also added, "We know it's not right, but it is also determine this agency and all of the artists here. So we want you to understand."

I still keep quiet and hoped that it is only a prank or something.

"and I also want to say sorry because it is a one sided decision. Honestly, you don't have enough choice. Pledis Ent is the only agency that want you to be their trainee. I really hope you can accept our decision, because I don't want you to start over again… and also your talent."

Mrs. Han started to speak up and tried to lighten up the mood, "Well, look at the bright side, Seungkwan-shii, you can develop your talent in Pledis Ent. You know that the artists in Pledis Ent able to write their own songs, so it will be a suitable place for you. There will lots of senior that gonna help you, we will help you."

 

I tried my best not to cry, after a while, I started to look up and urge myself to say, "It's okay, Mr. Yoo. I totally understand. I should be the one who apologized because of the problem that I unintentionally made and thank you very much that you still try really hard to help me.", my voice cracked,

Even I coludn't hide my disappointment in my voice and everybody in that room can notice it, Mr. Yoo felt a little bit relieved.

"Okay, once again I'm so sorry and thank you for understanding."

"So, when will I be deported?" I wiped my teary eyes and gave my best shots to look happy.

"Today." Mr. Jo finally spoke up.

"I shall gather my belongings, then" I stand up and followed by the other.

Mr. Jo added, "We will wait you in the parking lot."

"I'm sorry but, it will take a while. I haven't say goodbye to the others."

Mrs. Han and Mr. Jo understand my situation and she said, "Just take your time."

"Excuse me." I get out of the room and go to the cafeteria where most of the trainees gather.

They seem to know the situation beforehand, because they already gathered in the cafeteria and started look at me with a concern face. Ye rin, my bestfriend in Antenna, is the first one who approaches me and can't hide her tears,

"I'm sorry to hear that, Seungkwan-ah.. I miss you already." she hugged me and followed by other girls.

"Hey, why are you guys crying?" but I also couldn’t hide my tears any longer.

"I hope you for the best, Seungkwan-ah" Sam patted my back.

"Me too for you guys" I wiped my tears and hugged them one by one.

After a simple goodbye, I gathered my belongings from my locker and went to the parking lot.

There, Mr. Yoo and the Pledis people already wait for me.

I bowed and said, "Thank you very much for everything, Mr. Yoo."

He patted my back, "Good luck out there, Seungkwan-ah. I know you will be able to reach the top and don't lose your color."

I smile and got into the car which gonna take me to the Pledis Ent office.


	3. PART 1 (2): Number of Cases

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seungkwan meets Vernon or Vernon meets Seungkwan

** Vernon POV **

What a good day, I am in a total good mood, but why does the weather very cloudy? It’s a pity for someone who has a bad day today. I headed out to the recording studio to continue my song writing when I met Mr. Han.

"Good morning, Mr.Han" I said it brightly.

"Oh, good morning, Hansol-ah." he stopped. "Where are you going? Are you busy?"

"Emm, no I'm not. I took my day off and want to continue my song writing." I think he had something to say..........and I'm right, he is too predictable.

"Well, can you follow me for a while? I have something to say and text one of your members to go to my office now."

I followed him to his office while texting in my Line group.

"Hey, if you don't have anything urgent, our Mr. Han needs us in his office now." Seungcheol replied, "I'll go"

"Seungcheol-hyung will be here in a minute, sir." I sat next to Soo Hee and she looked in a bad mood. Well, it was her after all. There were Alphan (A/N: I just made it), a rocky singer group consist of two siblings: Hyuk Sae and Hyun Sae, in that room.

"Hyuk Sae-ah, do you know what are we doing here?", I asked

"We don't know, hyung." he and his sister, Hyun Sae seemed clueless like me. I don't feel like want to ask Soo Hee, so I kept quiet.

"You guys are here because I want to introduce you to our new family." He then explained to us the new boy situation.

Wow, this industry is so mean. I feel pity to that boy, I will feel depressed too if I should leave Pledis. This place is like a home to me. And actually I already know him from his Youtube account; he has a really beautiful voice.

"Is it really okay to welcome him to this agency? I thought you don't really like him, sir." Soo Hee start to speak her annoyance.

"Well, who said that I don't like him? I just didn’t recognize him sooner to invite him to be my trainee. I already watched his cover videos and I can say that he is very talented and unique, have you ever heard his original song?"

"I have, but I think his style doesn't really match with Pledis."

"I don’t really understand about what you mean with his style. But before that, let me ask you something, Soo Hee-ah, can you write a song?"

She can't answer that. Yeah, take that shot, princess.

Mr. Han smiled and said, "Well, he can and he is really good at it."

After that, she busied herself with her phone. Seungcheol arrived and I tell him the situation. Unlike Soo Hee, he responded the news enthusiastically.

"Wow, I can't wait to see him.", he jumped in his seat.

"And why is that?", Mr. Han asked him.

"Well, I just love to see a cute boy.", that is so Seungcheol's way of thinking.

"Ya! Don't mess up with him, he is your junior." He scolded him.

I just laughed because I already get used to with his flirty behavior.

"Why not, sir? I mean he is only 3 years younger than me."

"Oh, it means that he is older than us. Yeay, I have another oppa." Hyun Sae said excitedly and

Mr. Jo entered the room, "Mr. Han, he is here."

"Let him come in. Guys, please be friendly, okay."

"Yes, sir.", we said in unison.

A boy with short reddish fluufy hair comes into the room. Well, yes, he is very cute indeed. Not to mention his pettite figure and his pikachu bag. His oversize white sweater and his short jeans looked so cute in his body. He looked so nervous, maybe because all of the people in the room look at him with curiosity.

"Hello, Let me introduce myself. I'm a song writer and I was from Antena Ent, my name is Boo Seungkwan."

A simple but confident boy, he called himself a song writer. I like this attitude.

"Please take a sit, Seungkwan-shii.", he took a sit beside Hyun Sae.

"So, they are here to welcome you, I'm so sorry that I can't invite all off the people because of their schedules.", Mr. Han started the talk.

"Yes, because, except Seventeen sunbae, we don't have any job for a while…", Hyuk Sae added and made us laugh.

"Well, actually I am preparing for my comeback." Soo Hee finally joined the conversation still with her moody act.

"Us too. So, can you later hear our song and give us your opinion about it, oppa? Ah, Do you mind if I call you oppa from now on? You can also talk comfortably to us.", Hyun Sae tried to break the ice.

"I'd love to and I don't mind." he replied happily, I think he needs something to forget his sadness, I know is too sudden for him. I can notice his after crying red eyes.

"Well, I believe you already know the people here, Seungkwan-shii or should I call you Seungkwan-ah? Since I become your boss from now own." Mr. Han said casually.

"Of course, Mr Han, I saw them often in the television. And please just call me Seungkwan from now on.", he talked politely.

"Seungkwan-shii, can I talk comfortably to you too?", Seungcheol put his best smile.

"Ah, sure sunbaenim. You guys my senior after all."

"Really? All right then. Seungkwan-ah, hi~", Seungcheol waved and give his flirty look which make us laugh.

"Hello, sunbaenim.", he stand up and gave his 90° bow.

"Ah, and also you don't need to call us -nim, just sunbae is okay I guess. We are not that old.", I added casually.

"Well you can call him sunbae, but you can call me hyung if you want to.", Seungcheol not forget to wink.

I hit his head with a magazine in front of me, sometimes I want to forget the fact that he is 3 years older than me. Our antic is followed by everyone laughing.

"Stop it already. You confused him."

"Maybe I will start with sunbae first.", he added shyly, it broke our laughter once again.

"Good choice, Seungkwan-ah.", I gave him thumbs up which responded with his shy smile.

"Why are you suddenly talk down to him?", Seungcheol complained.

"Can't I? I'm his sunbae too, besides, we are in the same age."

"Oh, it's okay, sunbae."

"Do you hear that?", I hit his shoulder with my hand this time.

"Stop hitting me, I’m your hyung, you punk!", he rubbed his sor shoulder.

"Stop with your slapstick already. Seungkwan-ah, just let them be. And about your schedule, it will start tomorrow. So today you can do an office tour. Can someone accompany him? Or should I call other person?", Mr. Han looked at us.

"We have a photo shoot for our new album.", Hyuk Sae said with a sad face.

"I have a dance class.", Soo Hee added.

"I can do it.", Seungcheol happily volunteering.

"But I thought you have a dance class after this, oppa", Soo Hee suddenly responded.

"Ah, you are right. I'm sorry Seungkwan-ah."

"It's okay, sunbae. I can just exploring this place alone or ask the receptionist.", he said.

"No, that would be time consuming. I'll do it.", I volunteered.

Soo Hee looked at me disbelief, "Are you not bothered, sunbae?"

"No, why should I be bothered? I can talk to him about song writing after that."

"Thank you, sunbae.", he bowed slightly.

"Okay, it's settled then. Seungkwan-ah, see you later and welcome to the Pledis family.", Mr. Han closed the meeting and followed by everyone clapped.

"Let's go, Seungkwan-ah."

He followed me to the lift,

"I think we should start from the first floor to begin this tour.", I pressed the number 1 button.

He only smile and nodded quietly.

 

** Seungkwan POV **

Well here I am, following the most famous rapper, the member of the most famous hip hop group. And now he kindly gave me an office tour. Honestly, he looked a lot cooler in person and should I mention those eyes? No, I need to compose myself. 

He explained me every room in the office, until in the 5th floor, he said proudly, 

"And this my personal recording studio.", He opened the code and when we got inside the room the lamp was on automatically. It was a huge recording studio for me. The equipments are complete. Yes, this is exactly my dream recording studio. I can't hide my amazement.

"Wow!!!", Wait, it was too loud! I suddenly closed my mouth and bowed apologetically.

He looked at me with funny expression, hiding his laugh and only stifled giggle.

"I get this studio about 2 years ago, as a present from the boss. What do you think?", he sat in one of the chair.

I looked around still can't hide my amazement.

"This is really amazing, Vernon-sunbae. I can literary live here if I had one.", I looked at the various kinds of button. He laughed after heard my answer,

"Can you operate that?", he approached me who was still standing near the operate table. I just noticed that he is slightly taller than me.

"No, I can't. I never try it. I only write a song with a piano or a guitar. I have a simple equalizer in my house, though. But I rarely used that. I use a simple song maker application in my laptop, but again I prefer write my song with a piano and record it with a pencil and in my music book.", I touched one of the button carefully.

"Wow, finally you start talking. After the whole office tour, I rarely hear your voice.", he smiled and standing beside me.

"Oh my God, am I talking too much? I'm sorry, sunbae.", I bowed and covered my mouth again.

"No, your talking is fine. Come, sit.", he walked to the couch behind the operation table.

I followed him and sat a little far beside him, I can't stop looking at the equipment. I don't recognize that he was looking at me the whole time.

"You know, you can use it sometimes. You only need to ask my permission first.", he broke my day dream.

"Really, sunbae." I can't hide my excitement.    


"Oh, I'm too loud again, ain't I? I'm sorry.", I tried to calm my mind down.

"It's okay. And I want to tell you something." he started to be serious. I looked at him with a serious face too.

"Don't apology to often, especially when you are not doing something wrong. It will only make you feel inferior. But don't be too cocky, it will not help you either. I'm telling you this as your sunbae and as your friend. All you need is confident and willingness to learn, understand?", he said it briefly.

"Yes, sunbae. Thank you for your advice.", I smiled and feel relieved for the first time I got here.

"Good. Now, as the introduction in this agency, how about I taught you the basic way to operate that equalizer buttons? What do you think?", He stand up and walked to the table with lots of buttons.

"I'd love to learn that, sunbae.", I responded happily and followed him.

He smiled and said, "That's what I'm talking about."  


\--------


	4. PART 2 (1) : Tonight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vernon thinks that clueless Seungkwan is cute as hell

** VERNON POV **

It's been 2 weeks since the day Seungkwan joined the Pledis Ent. The entire member already met Seungkwan and everyone's impression are the same.

"He is a lot cuter in person.", even Wonwoo hyung thought the same thing. Well, that's extraordinary...

But I don't know why I haven't met Seungkwan again since the last office tour on the first day. I saw him sometimes in the practice room, but he looked so concentrate with singing practice and I don’t have the heart to disturb him.

I kinda...well, I don't know...miss him? Ahaha... don't be silly Hansol -__-" I think 'miss' is not the appropriate word. Honestly, I kinda like his existence near me and it's weird but I get a little bit annoyed when Seungcheol hyung always bragging about he met him everytime. 

Not for long, I saw him in the cafeteria. I think a cup of Americano would be nice. I approached him and saw that he was talking with Mingyu hyung.

"Good afternoon, Hansol-ah!", Mingyu hyung greeted me cheerfully.

"Oh, afternoon, hyung."

He suddenly stands up and bowed his 90° bow,

"How are you, sunbae?"

"Oh, I'm good, thanks. It's okay, just sit.", I took a chair and sat across his table while Mingyu hyung sat next to him.

"Had you have your lunch, Hansol-ah?"

"I had. I only want to buy a cup of Americano.", I took of my sunglasses, yes, I wear sunglasses in the office.

"Have you ordered it yet? I'll order it for you I also want my daily dose of milkshake.", he stands up.

"Oh, really? I haven't, thanks."

When Mingyu hyung started to go, Seungkwan also stands up felt uncomfortable,

"Let me order it. I'm the junior here after all."

"Ah, you don't need to, Seungkwan-ah. Pay attention to your leg instead. Don't walk too much, yet. Let the healthy man order the Americano.", Mingyu hyung went to the counter and Seungkwan quietly sat again.

"What's wrong with your leg?", I immediately looked at his leg which had a bandage in his knee.

"Ah, this is not a big wound, It's okay.", he rubbed his wounded knee.

I still kept silent waiting for his real answer. It looks like he noticed my staring and said,

"I fell from the stair station this morning.", I looked at him with disbelieve.

"From a stair? How come? Are you not injured more than a wounded knee?", I noticed that my voice was a little bit panicking.

"It's okay, sunbae. I only fell 2 levels of the stair. I was accidentally pushed by a man, office worker I suppose. It was too crowded at that time, so I can’t blame him. I was the one who were not strong enough to hold the pressure. And... Actually, I also sprained my left ankle."

"While you wounded your right knee." I added.

He only smiled hearing my respond.

"You can't hold the pressure of the crowd? How come? Is it because you are too small?", he smiled again and said,

"Maybe.", he looked down at his lunchbox.

"You should be careful next time, but you must fell down often then... I mean every time you take the train."

"No, sunbae. Actually...I don't really get used to travel by train. Usually, either my parents drop me by or I go to one place to another with my bicycle. Especially, when I was in Antenna. But, Pledis Ent is too far from my house and my parents can't drive me every day, so sometimes I have to take the train."

"Aigoo..don't tell me it's your first time after a long time you take the train.", I can't hide my concern expression.

"No, sunbae. It' my second time.", he said it briefly with his cute expression. Damn. How come this boy can be so adorable??!

"It's not really different.", I said try to cover my smile after saw his cute expression.

"Have you sanitized the wound? What about your sprained ankle?", I tried to look closer but he seemed uncomfortable with my act, so I got back to my seat.

"It's already healed, sunbae. Don't worry.", he gave me his innocent smile. I can't help but smile too.

Wait a minute.. Why am I so concern with his condition? It can't be right. But.... I feel something strange in my mind… and my freaking heart.

He opened his lunchbox and holds his chopsticks.

"Let's eat, sunbae."

"Wow…a homemade lunchbox. I haven't seen it in a while."

"Really, sunbae? I always bring my lunchbox with me, my mom told me to, she said I should be more economical." 

"Your mom cooked it for you?"

"No, not anymore. I mean I already 20 years old, I have to prepare my own lunchbox."

"Oh, so you cooked all of this?", I pointed on his full packed of food and side dish lunchbox.

"Yes, sunbae. Do you want to try it, sunbae? I haven't used my chopsticks yet.", he offered me his purple chopsticks. Wait, does he know what is he doing? Or he just totally clueless.. I mean, I will use his chopstick, and he also will use it...So…

"I'm sorry if I'm too forcing you." he took back his chopsticks. 

Wait! No! Wait! I immediately grabbed his hand which holding the chopsticks. Why does his hand so small and soft?

He looked surprise, so did I. We paused, and looked each other in confusion while I still grabbed his soft hand. I should let his hand go, why can't I? Hey, Hansol, let his hand go now!!!

Finally I came back to my sense and took the chopsticks from him. Don't want to be more awkward, I asked him,

"Seungkwan-ah, which one is recommended?", I looked at his lunchbox.

"Up to you, sunbae.", he also came back to his sense.

I took a kimbap (A/N: are you kimbap kidding me?!) covered with fried egg and ate it. Damn. It's delicious!

"Wow, you are not only genius in writing songs, Seungkwan-ah, but you also great in cooking.", Fuck. That was too cheesy. hehehe...I don't care anymore about my comment, I'm still trying to normalize my heartbeat which suddenly doubled up its beat.

Fortunately, Mingyu hyung came with my Americano.

"I'm sorry for take too long, Hansol-ah. I made mistake in putting the syrups. Here's your Americano."

Thanks God! I can't really stand with the awkwardness.

"Thank you, hyung. I leave. Thanks for the kimbap, Seungkwan-ah.", I immediately got from there and trying not to trip my own feet.

One thing that I don't know, it's not only my face which grew red but his face also became red like a cherry. A small adorable cherry.

\-------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, what do you think about the story so far?


	5. PART 2 (2): Tonight

** Seungkwan POV **

It's already a week since I joined Pledis. My schedule till today only divided into 2 parts, singing practice and writing songs.

My singing practice went smoothly until I met Kim Soo Hee, one of the singer in Pledis Ent, she was also like me, a former Youtube artist.

"Hello, Soo Hee-shii.", I greeted her formally.

"Oh, hello.", she looked a little bit moody that time...or every time?

"Ah, so you are the one who singing since morning?", she looked surprise.

"Ah, yes. I was practicing here. What's wrong, Soo Hee-shii?"

"Ah, no.. You were practicing? I thought you were just playing all the time.", she gave me her mocking face.

"What do you mean by that, Soo Hee-shii?"

"Well, it's just... I just realized that your voice is not really special… I mean you didn't sound like you were doing it for practicing."

"Well... I just start to practice, so...", She cut me by saying,

"Yes, you are. But let me tell you something. If you want to debut as a singer under this agency... With your voice, it's not even close.", she went by and giggling by her own comment.

"What the..." No, Seungkwan-ah, maybe she is rude, indeed. But she is so damn right. I have to practice even more!!! Seungkwan ah, Fighting!!!

I put extra time for practicing my singing skill. In a week, I can feel the changes in my voice; the coach said my voice is getting better than the first time I practiced here. Even in the evening my voice getting sour, I continued my practice with small humming. (A/N: hardworking Seungkwan :').. )

\-----

In the second week, I never tought that rejecting my mom offer to go the the office an hour earlier is a bad idea because I rather to use the train if in return I can get another 30 minutes of my beauty sleep.

but yeah, that was a bad idea because …..I fell! Oh my God!

How can I be so reckless?! That was so embarrassing, plus there was a group of high school students only laughed at me and not even bothering to help. Not to mention my sprained ankle and wounded knee. I took a rest for a while and took out a small first aid pouch from my pikachu bag. I sanitized my wound and put a bandage on it, the animal pattern one. Well, thanks mom.

I was late for almost 15 minutes. Lucky for me, the coach understood my situation.

I practiced to sing again when someone knocked the door of the practice room. It was Mingyu from the hip hop group, Seventeen.

"Seungkwan-ah~ let's have lunch.", honestly, I still not get used to when the artist here act so close with me like we are a long time friend. I mean, I'm technically their junior. But they don't really bother with that.

"Oh, okay, Mingyu-sunbae.", I took my lunchbox and walked carefully to the door.

"That’s ‘hyung’ for you. By the way, are you okay, Seungkwan-ah?", he looked at me curious. I told him my embarrassing story. He can't stop laughing by the fact that I was drifted away by the crowd like a small weak leaf.

In the cafeteria, when we were talking, Vernon sunbae out of sudden approached us and sat right across my table. I don't know why I felt nervous when he looked at me or more like staring at me. It's been two weeks I didn't met him, since the office tour. Even we had spent the rest of that day in his recording studio; I still not get used to with his existence. It's just his aura, the aura from a big star…and those eyes..Those brown hazel eyes...

It gets worse when he suddenly grabbed my hand to get chopsticks from my hand. Awkward... Why didn’t he let go of my hand? I can feel my heartbeat is doubled up than usual. Should I pull my hand? But that would be rude. What should I do??!

We paused and looked at each other for a while. Suddenly, he unfreezes and took the chopsticks from my hand, and ate one of my kimbab (A/N: are you kimbap kidding me?!). He said the cheesiest comment I ever heard. But I kinda like it. especially, he looks cute when he is flustered.

After Mingyu hyung gave his Americano, he went out the cafeteria. I hoped that my red face was not really noticed.

....................

"I think we should stop the practice for today, Seungkwan-shii.", the coach closed his book and the piano.

"Why, coach-nim? We still have 30 minutes left."

"Not for your vocal cord. Don't pull yourself so hard. Take a rest for today, will you?"

"But…" No. I still not good enough to stop right now.

"I really appreciate your willingness, but it will only harm your vocal cord. Now, go home!", he gave my bag and dragged me out of the practice room.

"Don't even think to sing for today, not even humming.", then he went to the lift.

Well, I guess he is right, I can't speak properly now. My voice is too sour. I arrived in the first floor where I met Vernon sunbae swinging his key car.

"Oh, good evening, sunbae", my voice cracked. Damn. It's even hard to speak normally.

"What's wrong with your voice, Seungkwan-ah?", he gave me his concerned hazel eyes.

"I just finished my singing practice.", I rubbed my neck, I really should drink warm water. It hurts like hell.

"Where are you going to now?", he titled his head and give his warm smile.

"Coach-nim told me to go home.", I can’t stand his smile and why does in the actual hell he have to stare at me like that???

"Ah, have you booked a taxi?"

"No, sunbae. Taxi is too expensive, so..."

"Are you gonna take train again? With that legs?", he cut me and frowning with his beautiful craven eyebrows.

"Well, I don't have enough choice, right?", I looked up and meet his eyes. I regretted it almost immediately.

"Yeah, you do. Where do you live?", He took a step closer to me.

Wait what? Is it gonna lead to something that I think it's gonna be?

"I live in Songsamdong, sunbae." (A/N: I don’t know where in the hell Songsamdong is, it’s just sound like a region in Korea….I’m sorry for my lazy ass cause I’m too lazy to do searching)

"Okay, I'll give you a ride. Come on, Seungkwan-ah."

"Ah, it's okay sunbae. You don't need to, I mean I don't want to bother you.", I rejected the idea of sitting inside of the car with someone who intimidate me only with his aura, for 30 minutes.

"It's not a bother. I'll be heading there too. Let's go, Seungkwan-ah.", he walked to the parking lot without waiting for my response. I don't have any choice but to follow him.

 

\------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's rather cliche plot, but I personally think that a man who walks home his object of attention, it's a gentleman.


	6. PART 2 (3) : Tonight

** VERNON POV **

What a coincidence. Now, that little cherry is in my car. He was a little bit struggling with the seat belt. Maybe because, this sport car has unique seat belts. 

"Seungkwan-ah, you should pull it twice." I watched him struggling for almost five minutes.

"Ah, pull it twice.", he was total clueless.

I approached his seat and pull the seat belt twice. When I finished, I immediately sat back tried my best to hide my blushing face. Wow, his face was so close. It was like a scene in a drama. What is his perfume? I can smell tangerine and sweet scent from his hair. But what about his perfume? And why in the hell I want to know?

I started the car and when we already in the road, I tried to glance at him once in a while, but he was looking to the window. It was quiet for a while, and he suddenly broke the ice,

"Thank you, Vernon sunbae for the ride."Wait, did he say 'Vernon' sunbae? Oh my God, why does everything that he did is so cute. I can't help but laughed.

"What's wrong, sunbae?" he gave me his cute expression again.

"Ya, you know, we are not in front of the camera right now. So you can call my real name, Seungkwan-ah. Vernon is only in the stage."

"Ah, really sunbae? But I called everyone in the agency with their stage name."

"Well, I suggest calling them by their real name. It will make you closer to them."

He smiled and said softly, "I get it, Hansol-sunbae." Wuaahh.. I can't stand the cuteness…but there is something bothering me…

“Ah, one more thing, can you just call me by my name? I mean, we are in the same age and it’s weird for you to talk so formal like that”, He looked at me wide eye and said, “I don’t know if I can do that… I mean, you are my senior and…it will be uncomfortable if…”, He looked down and playing with his finger and pouting…wait, is he pouting? Fuck. So cute. 

I coughing to clear my throat or more likely to get myself compose again “Well, calling me sunbae is making me uncomfortable.”

He looked up at me, “Oh, really, sunbae? Ah, I mean…Hansol-shii? I’m sorry for making you uncomfortable.”

“Just Hansol. That way you’re not making me uncomfortable anymore” I smiled looking at him and I can notice a paint pink flush in his check.

“Okay, Hansol-ah.”, he said quietly and I can hear it clearly. It made me grin like an idiot.

We arrived after like forever. He went out and before that said, "Thank you for the ride, Hansol."

"Hmm. Is it your house?" I looked at a 2 floor painted white house.

"Yes, it is. Take care, Hansol-ah." He bowed a little

"You too. Good night."

"Good night.", he smiled once again and I still not get used to see his smile. He went to his house; he walked carefully because it seems that his leg is still hurt.

I drove back to my apartment in Gangnam. What? I lied? Well, yes I am. But in my defense, it is not really far from Gangnam. I just want to help my injured friend, nothing more than that.

The thing that I hardly admit is that…Starting tonight, that boy will be my life changer.

 

** Seungkwan POV **

Huwaaaaaa... What was that? How come someone being so charming and charismatic at the same time? And why do I still fall with those brown hazel dreamy eyes? Not to mention his scent...he smells like mint and chocolate which make hungry right now.

I went to the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. It stacked. I have to pull it twice so this old icebox can be opened. Wait what... pull it twice?

It makes me remember the embarrassing seatbelt incident. How can I be so clueless? And how can he being so gentlemen? I feel my face starting to steam again.

No. Stop it already, Seungkwan-ah! Stop overreacting. There is nothing happened. It was nothing, He was taking care of his junior. Even when he wanted to ride me home, even though it takes more than 30 minutes, even sthough he occasionally glanced at me in which I can see it through the reflection of the window, and when he always laughing every time I say something.. It's totally normal.

It.Was't.Special.At.All.

Come back to your sense and remember your first purpose. Logic first, your feeling later. Remember, no boyfriend before debut and no falling love before I have my own album!!!

Wait...did I just say boyfriend...falling love...? Ahahaha.... I'm getting crazy. Maybe it's due to a lot of practice.

This crazy thought suddenly makes me not hungry anymore. I closed the refrigerator and went back to my bedroom to get some sleep.

I hope, starting tonight, everything will be okay.

\-------


	7. PART 3 (1): Missing You

** VERNON POV  **

"Hansolieeee, aaaaa", Seungkwan fed me with a kimbap.

Wait. Why did he call me 'hansolie'? I like it, though.

Between my confusion, I still ate the kimbap, the taste doesn't change, still delicious.

And he gave me his sweetest smile,

"Hansoliee, I love you~"

Wait. What is happening???!

 

*KRIIIIIIIINGGGG!!!!!!!

My alarm woke me up.

I woke up and trying to process what I just saw in my dream. Yeah, it was just a dream. The time he called me 'hansolie' and feed me with his homemade lunch, plus his confession. Saying that he loves me. It was just a dream, a silly one.. but I can’t help myself smiling like an idiot remembering that dream…

06.00

Well, I better get prepared, my first schedule is in 9 o'clock.

I did a simple morning exercise and took a bath after that. I'll grab something maybe, for breakfast.

I walked to the parking lot and drove my sport car to Pledis.

When I put my seatbelt on, I remembered about him again. That little adorable cherry. Does he take the train again? Is his ankle okay?... and, why do I care? Stop it already, Hansol.

I didn't get enough sleep last night; maybe a coffee would be nice. I drove my car to the coffee shop in Gangnam. I ordered and waiting in the table near the counter while busying myself with my Ipad.

"It's really good to see you. I really miss you, Eunkwang-hyung~"

Ha? That sounded just like Seungkwan. Hahaha…great, now I'm imagining hearing his voice everywhere.

"Yes, now I'm not in the Antenna anymore. But let's keep it as a secret, okay?.... Don't worry, I still sing and write music, I just change my agency."

It sounded too real. I looked up to the counter and found him talking to a male worker there. Is it just another dream? But I already woke up an hour ago. Or maybe it's someone who looks exactly like him.

"My mom says hi. Ah, and I really miss your puppy....oh, it's not a puppy anymore? Wow, I really want meet him."

No, it's him. It's definitely Seungkwan. What is he doing here? Buy a coffee, of course. But why does he look really friendly with that male worker? His voice is changing, he sounds sweet when talking to that guy. Like when someone is talking to a person he likes. I don't really fond with what I saw and I don’t know why.

My coffee bell was ringing and I walked to the counter.

"Boo Seungkwan, is that you?", I tried to sound surprised.

"Oh, good morning, Hansol-ah." He immediately bowed. He wore a baby blue sweater today and short blue jeans today. So adorable.

"Morning. Wow, what a coincidence that we meet here in the morning.", I took my order and, "Have you had breakfast yet?", I sipped my latté.

"Ah, yes. I had breakfast before came here."

"Do you like strawberry or blueberry better?", I looked up at the menu in the board

"Pardon? Ehmm..blueberry I guess."

"Can I have one hot blueberry milkshake, please." I opened my wallet and took my credit card.

"That would be 3000 won, sir."

I gave the credit card and gave the milkshake to him.

"You don't need to, Hansol-ah.", he refused it politely.

"Don't worry, it's on me. Plus, a hot milkshake in the morning is good for your vocal cord."

He looked at the milkshake and took it, our finger brushed when he took the cup, "Thank you very much for the milkshake."

"Ah, Kwannie, I have to go. Please tell your mom, thank you for the kimchi.", the male worker went inside the kitchen.

"Sure, take care, hyung.", he waved his tiny hand.

 I looked at my watch, 7.45. "Ah, we should go to Pledis, now. Come on."

"You can go first, Hansol-ah. I'll take the bus", why does he always refuse my offer?

"Why? We have the same destination, don't we?"

"Yes, but...", he couldn't answer.

"Are you avoiding me, for any chance? Or do you hate me? Do I make you uncomfortable?", I leaned in and looked him in the eyes.

"What are you talking about? Of course I don't hate you.. Why should I?" he laughed nervously.

"All right. Come, let's go.", he followed me without any further complain.

He didn't need my help anymore to put the seat belt on, even though at first, he was struggling. I don’t really want to help him tough, because I love to staring at him pouting while struggling to put the seat belt on.

He was in complete silent in the car. I don't really like this awkward situation so I tried to break the ice,

"Who was that guy?", I felt taken aback with my own question, but well, I can't take it anymore, I'm so curious.

"He is my childhood friend. My mom told me to send him kimchi." Ah, a childhood friend…that's why they looked so close, nothing special. "Do you like him?", I asked him jokingly.

He suddenly blushed and said, "No, I'm noH", but he couldn't hide his shy smile. What the hell? What is this? I feel a little bit aches in my chest. I tried to change the topic,

"So, how's your practice? Don't practice too hard; it's not good for you. If your vocal cord starts to hurt, drink a warm lemon honey and wait for a while, you can spend that time by writing lyrics, for example. It works for me every time."

"It's okay, Hansol. For someone who has a bad singing skill like me, the only thing that I could do is practice as hard as I can." He quietly replied.

"What? A bad singing skill? Who said that? Mr.Han?", it really surprised me.

"No. He is very nice to me and compliments my voice, even when I was in the practice."

"Then who?" Who was the person who took his confidence?

He hesitated and I can see that, "It's okay, Seungkwan-ah, you can tell me."

"Well, so I met Soo Hee a week ago... and she told me that my singing skill was not like someone who was practicing, instead I sounded like I was playing around...", he stopped when he saw my furious face.

"And then?"

"That's all, sunbae.", he lied.

"Seungkwan-ah, don't you trust me?", I can see that he was thinking for a while but he finally said,

"And...She said that my voice is not even close to debut as a singer under Pledis Ent."

What the hell?! Is she deaf or something? I quickly tried to gain his confidence back,

"Listen to me, Seungkwan-ah. Don't listen to what she said. You have a special kind of voice. Every person has different voice and you have the special one. And about singing skill, let me tell you something. I love your voice, your voice is beautiful. I always in awe whenever watching you sing. So don't let someone take your confidence. You are special, Seungkwan-ah."

He finally smiled his sweet smile. It also made me smile.

We arrived at exactly 8 o'clock. When we already outside the car, he bowed and said,

"Thank you for the ride, Hansol-ah...and also for the milkshake."

"Don't bow too much, it will make you shorter." I patted his head.

He looked at me a little bit surprise, "Really?"

I just laughed hearing his innocent respond, "See you later." and I walked out from the parking lot.

 

** Seungkwan POV  **

"Boo Seungkwan!!! My son...wake up…and please give me a hand over here.", my mom voice woke me up.

Aarghhh... I hardly sleep and only got 4 hours of sleeping; it's not good for my skin. I looked at my phone, 5 o'clock. What is my mom possibly doing at 5 in the morning?

I walked to the kitchen and found my mom was making kimchi. "Oh my God, mom..It's 5 in the morning and you are making kimchi?!" I wear the rubber glove to mix the kimchi.

"I don't have much time. This weekend, my office will have a workshop. So I will not be able to do it this weekend." She took a plastic container from a cupboard behind her.

"That means, I will be home alone this weekend?", I hate being home alone on freaking weekend.

"Sorry, Kwannie..I can't help it. Now, try it" she fed me a handful of kimchi. "How?"

 "A little bit more salt." I hand the salt.

"Really? Okay then. Oh, can you send it to Eunkwang? He is in his part time job in the morning."

"Which one? He always in the part time job, I think he never comes home except on the weekend."

"If it's morning, so he will be in the coffee shop. I'll drive you there, but can you take bus after that? I have a meeting this morning." She scooped the kimchi to the plastic container.

"Sure." I took off the rubber gloves.

Well, meeting an old crush is not a bad idea, because I need something to busy my palace of mind for now. Yes, Seo Eun Kwang is my childhood crush. I already confess my feeling to him; several times actually, whether I said it jokingly or seriously. But he never took it serious. The reason is simple, I am not his type. He only sees me as his little brother. Yeaay!!! Brother zone~

I arrived at 7 o'clock and saw him waiting in the counter. He doesn't change but I think that he gained some weight.

"Oh, Kwannie, you're here."

"Hi... It's really good to see you. I really miss you, Eunkwang-hyung~", I gave him the kimchi.

"Wow, thank you. So, are you doing great? I heard that you are not in your old agency anymore." Look, right? He doesn't even bother to say 'I miss you too'.

"Yes, now I'm not in the Antenna anymore. But let's keep it as a secret, okay?.... Don't worry, I still practice singing and write music, I just change my agency."

"That's bad. I hope you for the best scenario.", wait, is he always been this nice?

"My mom says hi. Ah, and I really miss your puppy....oh, it's not a puppy anymore? Wow, I really want to meet him.", Great, now my voice change. Get yourself together, Boo Seungkwan.

Someone suddenly approached us to get his order. His scent was really familiar to me, so did his voice,

"Boo Seungkwan, is that you?" What the hell?! How come? What a coincidence!? I completely understand if I bumped into him in the office, but how? in the morning, in one of coffee shops among dozens of coffee shops in Gangnam, how can I met him like this?

"Oh, good morning, Hansol-ah." I automatically bowed.

He looked so fresh in the morning. He smelled different today, but still has mint scents, just change from chocolate into coffee scents. Why should I think of that? And why did he buy me a drink? It made me more uncomfortable. But still, I felt really thankful when he paid attention to my vocal cord.

"Ah, Kwannie, I have to go. Please tell your mom, thank you for the kimchi.", Eunkwang hyung went to the kitchen.

"Sure, take care hyung." Bye, my old crush.

"Ah, we should go to Pledis, now. Come on." Wait, what? What does he mean by 'come on' here? He will go to the office with me? It can't be right, this is too good to be true.

"You can go first, Hansol. I'll take the bus.", please understand my condition...please…

"Why? We have the same destination, don't we?"

"Yes, but...", well, that's pretty logic and I can't find any reasonable answer.

"Are you avoiding me, for any chance? Or do you hate me? Do I make you uncomfortable" YES!!!! Yes, I am avoiding you, Chwe Hansol!!! For my sake. But, it doesn't mean that I hate you.

"What are you talking about? Of course I don't hate you.. Why should I?" Why does he lean in? I need to hide my blushing face.

"All right. Come, let's go." Huwaaaaa.....Noooo!!! Again, I don't have any choice but to follow him.

 

He is very nice. He told me something that I really want to hear from people; even Eunkwang hyung never said that to me. He is the second person who told me how special I am, besides my mom.

"You are special, Seungkwan-ah.", that made me smile, and he also smiled.

We arrived and I bowed to show my gratitude for everything that he did, I mean he already did lots of thing to me this morning.

"Don't bow too much, it will make you shorter."  He patted my head like to a little brother and it made me blush even more.

"Really?", I don't know anything to say. There he goes, laughing again by my comment. I love to see his smiling eyes; it warms my heart a little.

"See you later", then he walked out from the parking lot. See you later, Hansol-ah.

\----

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, as you can see, Eunkwang BtoB becomes a cameo in this story..I choose him because I watched Seungkwan made a video letter to Eungkwan in the Behind The Show, and he was so cute, you can check it on youtube :)


	8. PART 3 (2): Missing You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vernon just misses Seungkwan so much

** VERNON POV  **

It's been a week since I met Seungkwan in the coffee shop. It's really hard to meet him in the office. I think that he is avoiding me intentionally and my schedules didn't help me at all. It made me in a bad mood every time. I just missed Seungkwan so bad...

"Sunbae, how are you?", Soo Hee approached me after I finished my schedule for today. We had a photo shoot together for a stupid cosmetic product (A/N: SVT Energy Skin Care~)

"I'm good.", I suddenly remembered the thing that she said to Seungkwan and got annoyed by her existence, I ignored her by playing my smart phone.

"Are you tired, sunbae?", oh, just leave already.

"Not really.", yes, I'm getting tired with your arrogance.

"Sunbae..", she looked hesitate for a while.

"What?", I can't hide my annoyance.

"You look so tired... here, it will help you to reduce your weary.", she handed me a bar of chocolate. It looks expensive. Should I accept it? Will she leave me alone if I take it? Well, what could go wrong?

"Thanks", I forced my smile and took the chocolate.

"It's nothing, sunbae. Bye." She looked so happy and went to her manager.

 

My manager substituted me to drive, "Should we go home now? Or do you want to go somewhere first?"

"I want to go home.", but I suddenly remembered that little cherry. "Ah, no. Drop me at the office." I need to meet Seungkwan... I don't know why.

I miss him so bad. I can’t tell since when I fell attracted to him. The last time I check I had a girlfriend, although I date her because she had been plastered me for a year. But, Seungkwan is different. He is the most beautiful person I’ve ever met. I really want to make him mine. I want to wake up beside him in the morning, caress his cheek, and tell him how beautiful he is every day. But, do I love him?

   

We arrived at 8 in the evening; I looked at the room reservation schedule in the receptionist desk. There he was, room 404. I can hear a piano was playing and someone singing, it's his beautiful voice. I opened the door and found him closing him eyes while he was playing the piano and singing.

I took a chair and put it next to Seungkwan quietly, and then I sat watching him singing. Ah, I really missed this boy. He didn't recognize I was watching him in silent for about 5 minutes. After the song was finished, Seungkwan opened his eyes and looked so surprise that he almost fell from his chair.

"Wuaaaah!!!", He almost fell but I catches him in the waist and sat him back.

"Are you okay?", I haven't let go off his waist. My heartbeat beats faster than before and I don’t bother to cover me blush this time.

"I'm okay, Hansol-ah...it's just, I was too surprised.", I looked at Seungkwan for a while...I stared at his round brown eyes, his nose, his pink lips...I fight my urge not to kiss him.

"Hansol, can you let go off me. I will not fall again", he looked at another direction, and I can notice his blushing.

"No. Wait for a while, would you?", What am I doing? He will get scared, but I don't want to let go off this distance for now. My eyes end up staring at his lips, I just want to make sure something. My heart still beats uncontrollably.

Finally, I let go off him. It was awkward, but I kept silent because my heart still not back to normal. We were in silent for almost like forever until he finally spoke up,

"Ehmm... What... What are you doing here, Hansol?", he cracked his voice.

"Don't tell me that you are practicing singing the whole time." I looked at him suspiciously.

"No, I’m not. I finished my practice 2 hours ago, I was just trying to look for new melody for my song.", He can't look at me in the eyes and looked down at the piano.

"But you are still singing.", it hurts me that he looked so tired. "Don't push yourself too hard, remember? You look so tired."

Seungkwan looked at me in the eyes, "You also look tired, Hansol-ah. Is everything okay?", he gave me his concern eyes. I fall for those eyes, I can't hold it anymore...

I caressed his face and focused on his lips. I sat closer to him, titled his head and brought it closer to mine. I pressed my lips against him slowly and gently. I closed my eyes to feel his soft lips and can taste his vanilla flavored lip balm. He was not moving but not rejecting the kiss either. I can feel his body relaxed after a while, I moved my lips to make the kiss more ease, but still no respond from him. I peaked a little and found Seungkwan closing his eyes. Is it a green signal? I encouraged myself to hug him, I hold his back head and tried to deepen the kiss, I nipped his lower lips gently but he suddenly pushed me and broke the kiss.

His eyes were open wide and his face was a complete red. Seungkwan covered his mouth in shock.

"I'm so sorry." he quickly grabbed his bag and jacket, and run out of the practice room. Leaving me dumb founded with what just happened.

I can still feel the softness of his lips.

 

** Seungkwan POV  **

I haven't seen him this week. It's weird, just last week, I met him by accident in the coffee shop, and he was there out of nowhere. What are you thinking, Seungkwan? He must be busy; he is like the most famous person in Korea. Of course he doesn't have time to wandering around in the office like me.

I don't want to admit it, but I miss him so bad. I tried to get rid off this feeling since in the beginning because, Hello... Who am I to have a feeling for him? I will only end up hurting myself...again. Even Eunkwang hyung, a guy who only doing part time job for a living rejected me for not being his type, it means that a famous superstar like him has a taste like Megan Fox or something.

Get yourself together, Seungkwan-ah. I don't remember how many time I said that spell, 'get yourself together' every time I think of him.

Better be practice then, I don't have much time to play around. I practiced singing for 3 hours when my vocal cord began to hurt, I stopped. Making a new song then? I played the piano and humming, not to loud at first, but it became louder in the end. Forget about the pencil, now the time for me to brainstorm. I closed my eyes so I can concentrate more. I brainstormed for about 30 minutes and when I opened my eyes, I saw Hansol already sat next to me watching me in silent.

I screamed due to surprised and lost my balance. But he quickly grabbed me by my waist. What the hell with this position? He stared at me, his eyes scanned me from my eyes, move down to my nose and end up on my lips. Let go off me!!! Please... If not, I can't control this feeling anymore....

"Hansol, can you let go off me? I will not fall again", I finally gained my voice.

"No. Wait for a while, would you?" What??? What is he doing??? There is nothing I can do but waiting. I hoped that he didn't really notice my red face.

Finally, he let go off me. We were sat there in silent for a while, don't know what to do. I should say something to make it least awkward,

"What...what are you doing here Hansol?" I can't help but stuttered.

"Don't tell me that you were practicing singing the whole time." Is he concerned about me? Why? Why is he so nice to me? He was the one who looked so tired. It made me worry.

"Is everything okay, Hansol-ah?" I asked him with concern.

His eyes changed becoming softer. He caressed my face for a while and titled my head. I know he stared at my lips, but I really scare to imagine the next scenario.

He sat closer to mine and brought my face to his. I still can't believe with what just happened, but he pressed his lips against mine. Oh my God! What is happening?! His lips was so soft. He closed his eyes and I can't help but closed my eyes too. I should push him, I should break the kiss. But I can't or I don't want to. I melted with the kiss, he moved his lips and it made me crazy. I smell the familiar scent from his breath...the mint scent...it was from there after all.

He started to hug me, grabbed my back head and deepened the kiss. I can feel he nipped my lower lips, and at time I was afraid that we went too far. This is not right!

I pushed him and broke the kiss. I covered my mouth and the last thing that I can said is,

"I'm so sorry." I'm sorry for having this feeling, and I'm sorry for wanting too far. I grabbed my stuffs and run out of the room, I can't see him in the eyes for any longer.

In the way out I bumped with Soo Hee, "Hey, watch your step, trainee!"

I didn't really want to bother with her for now, so I quickly said sorry and went out of the building. I should go home and cool my head so I can get myself together again, even I'm not really sure if I can after what happened tonight.

\-------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omo..omo...they kissed!!! >///<


	9. PART 4 (1) : Lies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vernon is (love) sick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler Alert!!!  
> a little bit angst in the beginning but I shower you with fluff in the end :D

**VERNON POV**  
  
I can't sleep....  
  
Since the kissing incident, I kept thinking whether I did the wrong move or not. Is he gonna hate me? I don't like with the idea that Seungkwan is going to hate me.  
  
Arghhhhh!!! Stupid brain!!! Why would you do that, Hansol?! I can't contact Seungkwan, he didn't answer when I called him. I shouldn't do that. I should be slowly...he must be surprised.  
  
But, that kiss...those lips...I can't get enough. Anyway, why did he apologize after the kiss? He wasn't doing something wrong. Instead, I should be the one who blamed.  
  
Ah, I really miss Seungkwan. I want to hug him...and see those brown doe eyes again..every day. It's making me crazy.  
  
He must be in the office practicing right now. I must see him and clarify everything. I took my phone and texted him.  
  
'Seungkwan-ah, I'm so sorry about yesterday. Where are you? I want to talk about something.' Yes, I don't care about others, but today I have to make everything clear. I took a bath and prepared myself for the battle. Now or never, Hansol!  
  
I drove to the office and my heart started to beat uncontrollably already. I arrived and immediately looking for Seungkwan. It's not difficult to find him, he must be practicing in one of the room, he is not going to go anywhere. I waited until his practice session over. When the coach left the room, I got in the room and found Seungkwan packing his belonging. He looked at me in surprise,  
  
"Good...morning, Hansol." He bowed and looked at other direction. I locked the door and put the key in my pocket. He looked even more surprise, before he can't say anything, I hold both of his hand and looked him in the eyes, so he can see my sincerity.  
  
"Seungkwan-ah, please, listen to me." He kept silence.  
  
"Seungkwan-ah, look at me…please."  
  
He was hesitating for a while and finally looked at me. We kept looking at each other for a while but then he looked at his shoes again.  
  
"I'm sorry, Hansol. Let's pretend that yesterday wasn't happened, shall we?"  
  
"Why are you sorry for? And I can't pretend that yesterday…I mean the kiss, didn't happen."  
  
"It was an accident, right?", he looked at me with a hopeless face. I hate with what I saw, this wasn't him.  
  
"No. It wasn't an accident. The kiss, I meant it. It wasn't a temporary passion. I really meant it, Seungkwan-ah.", I walked closer to him but he walked away from me.  
  
"It's not the time to make a joke, Hansol.." he said it in frustration.  
  
"I'm not joking!", I yelled at him with frustration as well. No. Calm yourself down, and said it already!  
  
"Look, Seungkwan-ah... I…with you..", I already practiced it in the car ten minutes ago, but the words didn't want to come out.  
  
"Please, stop it. Let's not meet start today...please."  
  
Seungkwan let go of my hands and picked his bag. "Hansol, please give me the key. I need to practice again."  
  
"But, Seungkwan-ah, you need to listen to me first...the reason that I kissed you..."  
  
"I don't want to hear that...the reason, just keep it for yourself.", he looked at me with cold eyes.  
  
My heart is hurt…it hurts really bad.  
  
"You don't want to hear that..." I said it with disbelief. "But, I love you, and I really meant it." There, I said it..  
  
"But, I'm not. And I really meant it." My heart was shattered after hearing his answer.  
  
"Really, Seungkwan-ah?", he looked at his shoes and whispered but I can still hear it,  
  
"I shouldn't."  
  
"You shouldn't?", I tried to search for an answer in his face. When I saw his teary eyes, it broke me even more.  
  
"Please, give me the key. I don't want to be late.", I gave him the key; he unlocked the door and went out of the room without hesitation.  
  
-I shouldn't- What did he mean by that?  
  
I still tried to reach him but he completely ignored me, he only gave me a formality bow, from a junior to a senior. Other people started to whisper behind my back because I act so strange since that day.  
  
  
"Hey, Hansol-ah, are you okay? You look tired, are you sick?" Mingyu hyung got me out from my thought. My face is pale, and I got a headache. It must be because I haven't got enough sleep yesterday.  
  
"I'm okay. Should we make the guided singing? Or do you want to directly sing?" We were making a song for our next mini album.  
  
"But we haven't finished the last part, have we?", Wonwoo hyung checked the computer.  
  
"Ah, you are right. So, about the last part...", I opened my folder  
  
"Are you really okay? Should you take the day off?", they looked at me in concern.  
  
"I'm okay." I wasn't okay. My heart wasn't okay. I can't stop thinking about him. Was he really mean it? What did he mean by he shouldn't love me? Is he already got someone he loved? I have to see him again, and no turning back this time. After two hours, our song making end because Mingyu hyung and Wonwoo hyung had another schedule and I had a filming in a TV station for a short interview.  
  
I felt like dying, I really need to get some sleep. I got back to the office to change into my car, I was using my manager's car for the schedule. In the parking lot, I saw him. Seungkwan was walking while listen through his headphone. I approached him, he didn't saw me yet. When I got closer to him, I hold his hand, and he immediately stopped.  
  
"Oh, Hansol. What are you doing here? Could you let go off my hand?"  
  
"I can't. I don't want to." My face started to steam, I can't stand properly, I felt so tired. He looked at me with wide eyes,  
  
"Hansol-ah, are you okay?"  
  
"No. I'm not okay. Because of you, I'm not okay.", I whispered and my vision started to blur. He checked my temperature by placed his hand in my forehead.  
  
"Oh my God, Hansol, you catch a cold. You should go home now." I love to see his concern eyes, because it's for me.  
  
"I'm going to tell someone from the office, so they will drive you home. Wait here, and also you need to meet a doctor. “He tried to let go off his hand from mine. I pulled him to me, and hugged him tightly,  
  
"No. Please don't go. Don't leave me alone. I feel like I'm gonna die… I don't need a doctor. I need you." I smelled his tangerine scent and it calmed me down.  
  
He didn't move or resisted my hug, I hugged him even tighter like I'm gonna lose him if I let my guard down. We were in that position for a while.  
  
"Hansol, people will see us. Please, let go..."  
  
"No. I don't care with what people think. I only care with what you think about me." I rested my head in his shoulder.  
  
"But you need to take a rest."  
  
"I can't take a rest if my thought still full about you. What is he doing right now? Does he hate me? Does he love me? What did he mean by he shouldn't love me? Do I have a chance with him? What kind of person that he loves? Does he already have someone in his heart? If so, can I replace that person in his heart? I really want to be someone special in his life. I want him to be someone special in my life", I can't stop talking, I never been this honest with someone I liked. In fact, I never love someone so desperately like when I'm in love with Seungkwan.  
  
I heard someone foot steps, he immediately pulled me into my car and closed the door. We were sitting in the back seat and I haven't completely back to my sense. I pulled him closer to me and hugged him again. I whispered near his ear,  
  
"Seungkwan-ah, I love you..."  
  
I'm not really remember with what happened next, because I already passed out in his embrace.  
  
  
Seungkwan POV  
  
I overslept!!!  
  
Oh my God, I shouldn't be late twice in a week. I took a quick shower and changed into a simple plain yellow sweater, and a pair of short jeans. I grabbed my smart phone and only found them dead due to a low battery. Great. I skipped my breakfast so I will not skip the bus. Traveling by bus is a little bit time consuming, but safer than train, and what I mean by safer is less crowded. Honestly, I thought I will not be able to sleep after the kiss incident, but instead, I sleep like a bear, maybe because I was too tired yesterday.  
  
Ah, right… the kiss. I will go to the place where I will meet him the most. I can't go anywhere, I have to practice. Ah, what should I do? Chan was right, we should have a man who we like that live outside music. What should I do if I meet him? Act like nothing happened? Or should I asked him about yesterday? No! Act like nothing happened is the best plan! Okay, I will not let my feeling overcome my dream. Seungkwan-ah, fighting!!!  
  
Well, until my second schedule, there is nothing happened. Maybe, I will not meet him for a week, or two weeks or maybe a month...just like yesterday, I hardly meet him even we are in the same building.  
  
But my hope is not hanging too long, when I saw him getting into the room after my coach end the practice session. I can't hide my surprised, plus he suddenly locked the door and put the key in his pocket. What the hell...... Why did he do that?  
  
He hold both of my arm and looked at me, while I can't looked at him in the eyes. It's only making me remembering yesterday incident.  
  
I said what I want to say, that we should forget about yesterday, that yesterday was a total accident, and I don't want to hear his reason. I hoped that he agreed with me. But, why? He told me the otherwise.  
  
"But, I love you, and I really meant it." I felt like that I struck by a lightning. Is he meant it? He is lying, isn't he? It can't be right.  
  
"But, I'm not. And I really meant it." Why did I lie? Maybe, it's for the best, but my heart hurts real bad when I said it.  
  
"Really, Seungkwan-ah?" No. I don't meant it. Please, forgive me for lying to you. But we can't be together. We shouldn't fall in love. You are over my reach, we are in the different world. I will only give a burden to you. And I will only hurt myself again in the end.  
  
"I shouldn't." I whispered the words from inside of my heart.  
  
"You shouldn't?", he heard it. He looked really sad. No, please, don't look at me with those sad eyes. I don't know how long I can contain myself. I can't hold my tears any longer, I should get out of here. He shouldn't see me crying, it makes me even more pitiful.  
  
"Please, give me the key, Hansol. I don't want to be late." I don't want you to see me crying.  
  
He gave me the key, and I immediately unlocked the door and run to the nearest bathroom. There, I cried until I don't feel anything.  
  
  
Hah...finally a day went by. I already so tired. This problem made me even more tired. Not to mention, I met Soo Hee in the cafeteria and couldn't help but hearing her bullshit, but fortunately, Seungcheol hyung and Mingyu hyung were there in my side. Just if she wasn't my senior, I would already hit her in the head with my spoon. It's not that she is going to use her head anyway.  
  
I walked home when suddenly someone grabbed my hand. I turned and saw Hansol standing behind me.  
  
"Let go off my hand, Hansol."  
  
"I can't. I don't want to." His face was so red and his hand was so hot. Is he sick?  
  
"Hansol-ah, are you okay?" I can't hide my panic voice.  
  
"No. I'm not okay. Because of you, I'm not okay.", he  whispered. What is he talking about? I placed my hand in his forehead just to make sure. His temperature is so hot! I tried to let go of my hand so I can ask someone to help him.  
  
"Wait here, and also you need to meet a doctor. " but he pulled me and hugged me tightly.  
  
"No. Please don't go. Don't leave me alone. I feel like I'm gonna die… I don't need a doctor. I need you." He whispered near my ear. Is he meant it? Was that another lie? I know there are two kinds of person who will not tell lies, drunk people and sick people, and he is so sick right now. I was in a big dilemma; I don't want to let him go, but I don't want other people see us. It will not good for him.  
  
But he doesn't really care with other people, instead, he rested his head in my shoulder. I can smell his scent from here.  
  
No. He is sick right now. He needs to take a rest and eat some medicines. The next thing that he said to me makes me can't control my heartbeat. It was the sweetest thing I have ever heard from someone.  
  
But suddenly, I heard footsteps and we automatically got inside his car. That was a close one.  
  
When I was checking if there was still someone in the parking lot, he pulled me closer and hugged me again. Under my confusion, he whispered near my ear that brings shiver on my body,  
  
"Seungkwan-ah, I love you..."  
  
He passed out while still hugging me after said that sentence. The most honest sentence I have ever heard.  
  
\------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to smile but I want you to know that it's completely okay to be sad and feel tired, we are all humans with emotions, right? :)  
> and a little life hack, smile for five seconds right after you wake up to make your day less shitty...I tried it and it works.........well, at least for me...  
> HAPPY HOLIDAY!!!!


	10. PART 4 (2) : Lies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the cliche scene from every kdrama you've ever watched where someone taking care of his love one

** Seungkwan POV **

Why he became so sick like this? I can't stand to see Hansol so weak.. He didn't let me go, I tried my best to escape from his hug, but his hand was like locked to my body. What should I do? I can't leave him alone like this, and I can't tell the people from the office either. They will misunderstand the situation and I'm not really good in explaining. Well, it seems that I should drive him home by himself.

What? Can I drive? Of course, I can drive. I just don't make a license yet plus my family only have a car. If I'm careful that wouldn't be a problem. After several tries, finally he let me go from the hug. I took the key from his pocket and looked over his ID to know his address.

It was hard for me to go to his room in the 17th floor. Even though we only like 5 cm apart not to mention that it was a really huge apartment. Lucky for me, the staff there help me to bring him to his room. I put him to his bed and looked for his medicine box.

Anyway, why everything here is so huge? I mean the bed, his bedroom, the kitchen, even there is a living room in this apartment. Living here must be so expensive, well...practically he is like the richest hip hop singer in Korea. I found the medicine box and looked for the cold medicine. But, he has to eat first after taking the medicine. Well, better to see the kitchen then. A bowl of porridge would be nice.

What is wrong with his kitchen? There is hardly something in his refrigerator. I only found lots of beers and bottles of wine. If there was food, it was only a frozen food and frozen soup. No fruits, no vegetables...damn bachelor. Not to mention there are dozens of instant food in his cupboard. Well, at least he still have rice and a box of kimchi. I don't have enough choice, so I cooked the rice, took the kimchi and the frozen meat. I made a simple kimchi porridge. I hope he will like it.

I drank him the medicine and tried to look for a towel so I can wipe his sweat. Is it his wardrobe? Okay, I opened it only to find another room inside the wardrobe. What the hell? Is it a secret room or something? Am I in a ninja's house or a singer's house? I can't find the towel, so I went to his bathroom.

Oh my God... I feel like in the public bathroom. Why does people need such a huge bathroom? Finally, I found the towel and filled water in a big bowl.

When I came back to his bedroom, he is still sleeping peacefully.

It seems that the medicine already working, he sweats a lot. I wiped his sweat carefully and something hit my mind,

What am I doing here? I'm taking care the man that I should avoid. But, I can't leave him like this. Yes, just take it as a junior taking care of his senior.

It's already 1 in the morning, I should go home or mom is gonna kill me. I packed my belongings and he awake from his sleep. What a timing. He tried to reach me, but he was too weak.

"Seungkwan-ah, is that you?"

"Yes, Hansol. It's me, how are you feeling? Are you feeling better?" I hold his hand.

"I'm sorry, Seungkwan-ah... I love you." and he was back to sleep again.

He said it again like he couldn't get enough.

"I love you too, Hansol." and I sleep next to his bed.

 

** VERNON POV **

I wake up from a deep sleep, "Where am I? Ah, I'm in my bedroom." I thought that I saw Seungkwan in my bedroom, 'Was that a dream? It must be a dream. That couldn't be happened.', but when I saw my beloved boy sleeping next to me, I can't hide my smile. It was him after all. He was looking after me the whole night.

I sat and stared at him sleeping, he looks so peaceful and beautiful. I stroke his soft reddish hair and it made him awake.

"Good morning, Seungkwan-ah." I said it softly.

"Good morning, Hansol-ah. What time is it?", he stretched his body.

"It's 6 a.m., are you here the whole night? Thank you, Seungkwan-ah. After what I did to you, you still taking care of me."

"It's okay, Hansol. You were sick last night, I can't leave a sick person by himself." We were staring each other for a while, then he placed his hand on my forehead,

"It looks like your temperature is already back to normal. Good. Now, let's have a breakfast and you should eat the medicine. You haven't fully recovered yet. Come on." he went to the dining room and I followed him,

"But there is nothing in my kitchen."

"I know." He knows?

"But, fortunately, I found something edible after I looked all over your kitchen." He placed a bowl and pour a warm porridge in it. There are also kimchi and boiled eggs.

"Kimchi porridge. Where do you get the kimchi, Hansol? Was that from your mother? It's really delicious." He also took a bowl of porridge for him.

"Ah, yes, it's from my mom. But anyway, were you making all of this?"

"Yes. You should eat something." I can't hide my amazement when I tasted the porridge.

"It's really delicious, Seungkwan-ah." He was laughing. It's been a long time since I saw his laugh.

"I can't believe it. The boy that I love taking care of me when I sick and making me a delicious breakfast. We even have a breakfast together." I give my warmest smile. I looked at him dreamily. This time, he only smiled with a pink tint in his cheeks.

But suddenly he looked like remembering something. He quickly grabbed his phone and called someone,

"Hello, Chan? Could you help me? Don't ask. Listen, if my mom asks you where am I last night, just tell her that I had a sleepover in your house. Okay? Thank you, Channie." After that he made another call,

"Hello, mom. I'm sorry just called you right now, no, don't worry. I slept in Chan’s house last night. We were having a binge watching until so late. Yes, l'm gonna head to the office after this. No, I don't want to spend my weekend alone in the house. I'm okay. Enjoy your workshop." He exhaled and got back to his bowl.

"Are you okay? Am I getting you in trouble?"

"I'm _almost_ in a trouble. But, for now, it's okay. Have you done your breakfast? Do you want another bowl?"

"Ah, no. I'm already full."

He took the medicine box and gave me a glass of water.

"Here, take your medicine."

"Thank you." I drank my medicine while he continued his eating.

But, wait a minute... "How come you brought me here, Seungkwan-ah? and..." He cut me with his spoon like saying 'stop'.

"I drove you here with your car. I know your address from your ID card. I brought you here with some help from the apartment's staff. Yes, I can drive even I don't have a drive license yet. But, don't worry. Everything is under control."

"That is dangerous, Seungkwan-ah. You should..." again, he cut me,

"You're welcome." and took my bowl and his to the sink. He washed the dishes afterward.

"Ah, you can just leave it there."

"And wait for you to clean it up? When will it be? You even hardly to shop for healthy foods." He dried the dishes and continued with his speech,

"I mean, how come a big kitchen like this, there are only four utensils in the cupboard. And also dozens of instant food. And about the refrigerator, what kind of refrigerator is that? There are only lots of beers and bottles of wine. I hardly found a box of kimchi and a frozen food in there. Are you eating rice with beer? Like seriously, no wonder you get sick so easily." he ended his speech with hands in his waist (A/N: sassy Diva Boo is back, ya’ll!!!). It's the first time he making me speechless. I usually good in making comeback, but not in front of him.

"You sounded just like my mom." That's the only thing I can think about.

"Then your mother is so damn right." He went to the bedroom after put the dishes back to the cupboard. Wow, since when he became so cool like this? He made me love him even more. Where is the shy Boo Seungkwan? Honestly, I love this side of him also.

 

** Seungkwan POV **

Did I just do that? Honestly, it's the real me if I got comfortable with someone. Well, anyway, he looked getting better. I can leave him right now, he will be okay. I have to go to the office then, but wait... I haven't took a bath, plus I don't have something to change. Should I go home first? But that would take so much time.

"Are you gonna leave already?"

I turned around to see him already sat in the bed. That's weird, I didn't hear him coming.

"Yes.", I gathered my belonging and suddenly he gave me a back hug.

"Don't leave me alone, Seungkwan-ah...", there we go again. I quickly escaped from his hug.

"I want to go to the office and practice. Anyway, you're already getting better. So, I can leave you right now. There is no reason for me to stay any longer."

"Yes you have. We need to talk." He looked disagree with my idea.

"No, I mean not now...later. We will talk later. You still need to take a rest or you will get sick again and it will ruin your schedules." I went to the living room while he was following me.

"I will drive you there." He took his car key.

"No. Please, listen to me, would you?" I dragged him back to his bedroom.

"Now, sit, please. Listen, I will take the bus and you don't need to send me there, or people will see us and make us in a trouble. Sleep, so the medicine will work properly. And also, change your t-shirt, and don't forget to take your last medicine in the afternoon, but you need to have lunch first. Don't skip your dinner for today. And try to get some sleep tonight, understand, sunbae?"

He was only smiling after heard my long advice, "I understand, Seungkwan-ah." Can he stop calling me that? It makes me crazy everytime he called my name. I still tried to keep my cool.

"Good bye, Hansol-ah." I went out his apartment and took the bus to Chan’s dorm, it's closer. I guess I still have my complete outfit in his wardrobe.


	11. PART 5: Later

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seungkwan just needs time and Vernon needs Seungkwan

**Seungkwan POV**

"Seungkwan- hyung, you have to tell me the reason!"  
  
"Later, Chan, I want to take a bath first... Ah, there you are." I found my pink t-shirt and short jeans in his wardrobe.  
  
"Where were you last night? What were you doing? Are you in a trouble or something?" he followed me to the bathroom.  
  
"Get out. I will tell you everything after I take my bath. And no, I'm not in a trouble....well, short of, I can't say it's a trouble or not...GET OUT!"  
  
He huffed, "I'll be in the dining room, hyung."  
  
I finished my bath fast and change my outfit, but why I only have a t-shirt left? It's very uncomfortable. I like sweater better cause it can cover my tummy.  
  
  
Chan was already waiting for me with a few toasts and a tea. "Do you want a cup of tea, hyung?"  
  
"Yes, please." I sat across his seat.  
  
"So, tell me everything or I will put salt instead of sugar in your tea."  
  
"Well, first of all, you may think that I'm crazy for having this problem, honestly, I also already lose my mind, and I hope you can give me your best advice."  
  
"It depens on the story. Go on..."  
  
"Okay, so..." I told him from A to Z and he couldn't believe with what he just heard. From our first meeting along with the office tour until when I took care of him last night, "What do you think, Chan-ah?"  
  
"Are you sure, hyung? I mean you're not just making up the story, are you?"  
  
"Why should I do that? I'm really sure that he said that sentence like several times."  
  
"Daebak...wah...daebak."  
  
"Can you say another word?"  
  
"No, hyung, I mean you really get a 'daebak'! He's like the most famous superstar in the Korea music industry and he...", he looked super excited.  
  
"Shhhhh! Be quiet! Do you want the entire people in this dorm heard it? And it's not a thing that I should celebrate."  
  
"Why not? Do you like him? Yes you are..." he looked at me suspiciously.  
  
"Because he is the most famous superstar in the music industry, and I only....me."  
  
"But you're a famous youtuber with almost million subscribers and I bet your fans are not only from Korea."  
  
"I'm not even a real singer yet."  
  
"Is it because you haven't debut yet?" I nodded.  
  
"But, I thought he already had a girlfriend once, well I don’t know about having a boyfriend before, but with all of those confession I don’t have any doubt anymore. So it will not give any problem to him and to you as well."  
  
"What about me? I'm only a trainee! So, what do you think that I should do?"  
  
"Do you like him? No, do you love him?" I don't know how to answer that.  
  
"Seungkwan- hyung!"  
  
"I don't know! I just feel comfortable around him, maybe I like him as my senior. I mean, I think it's too early to decide my exact feeling."  
  
"Let me ask you something. Do your heart beats fast when he smiles or when he calls your name? Do you want to meet him so bad that you miss him everytime? Do you feel sad when you saw him sick?"  
  
I was thinking for a moment, "I think so...Yes" he clicked his finger and said,  
  
"You love him. No argue."  
  
"Are you sure? I'm not really sure myself." He nodded.  
  
"Hahh... I'm in a big trouble!!! What should I do??!" I shouted in frustration.  
  
"Ask him then. Ask him, is he really meant it? And what does he want? You should also tell him your condition. You guys should talk."  
  
"But, what if.." I'm not really sure to talk to him for now, so I only looked at my cup, not responding Chan's advice.  
  
"What is actually that bother you the most, hyung?"  
  
"I just...I don't want that in the end, I will only hurt myself. I've done it once; I've done enough."  
  
"Well, I've told you what I think. It's all up to you. But, sooner or later you will be the one who decide, what should you do. Just, don't forget your first purpose joining Pledis." He hold my hand to send his support to me, I can only smile weakly.  
  
"I won't."  
  
Chan is right, sooner or later I should able to have the answer. But, not today. I need some times to manage my mind and my heart.  
  
  
I arrived at Pledis in the afternoon to have an individual practice. I pressed the button number 5 to go to the practice room. It's the only spare room left. I just realized that even in the weekend, I'm not the only one who wants to have an additional practice. When the lift door almost closed, someone's hand stopped it, and how in the hell I can recognize that hand.  
  
"Oh, Seungkwan-ah. We meet again." He smiled cheerfully. I think that he's already fully recovered.  
  
"Hello, Hansol-ah. How are you today?" I smiled to him and he narrowed his eyebrows.  
  
"What do you mean by 'how are you today'? We've just met this morning in my apartment. You also woke up next to me this morning, we even had a breakfast together. Do you forget our moment together? It was only 3 hours ago."  
  
What the hell?! Can he be quiet? Fortunately, we were the only people in the lift.  
  
"Please don't say that out loud...people will hear you." He playfully looked at me and covered his mouth. Is he playing at me?  
  
"Where are you going, Seungkwan-ah?"  
  
"Room 501"  
  
"5th floor...me too, is it a destiny or something? We always head out to the same place." It's because your personal studio on the 5th floor, you stupid senior!!!  
  
Anyways, why does the lift take so long time to reach the 5th floor? I can't take it any longer, I pressed the button number 3 and got out from the lift; he followed me.  
  
"I thought you want to go to the 5th floor."  
  
"Yes, but I want to take the stairs...it's for my cardio." I opened the emergency door.  
  
"Ah... Me too then." He followed me to the stairs  
  
"What? Just take the lift, Hansol-ah."  
  
"I want to accompany you, can I? I mean, you will feel bored if you take the stairs alone. So..."  
  
I gave up this time. "Up to you." He smiled again, that sweet smile. He pushed me to the emergency stairs and closed the door.  
  
"Let's go, Seungkwan-ah."  
  
In the stair, he kept talking, "Where were you, Seungkwan-ah? I mean before you go to the office. I thought you already arrived an hour ago, but we met again in the 1st floor... like a destiny." He gave me his dreamy smile. I tried hard not to see him, so I not fall with those smile even more.  
  
"I was in my friend's dorm. I took a bath there because I have my outfit to change."  
  
"Why don't you take a bath in my place. I can also give you an outfit to change."  
  
"People will be suspicious if I wear your outfit, Hansol."  
  
"That wouldn't be a problem, why will people be suspicious?" He said that casually. I stopped and looked at him in disbelieve. Well, we are not that close for me to wear his outfit.  
  
"What? We are both male, it’s not like I have female outfit in my place.” I raised my eyebrows.  
  
"Uhm...I still need to change my underwear, so..."  
  
"Well, you can use mine also." What the hell? I stopped again and looked at him as he suddenly grows a second head.  
  
"What?” He titled his head and gave me confused puppy eyes. “Whatever.” I muttered under my breath.  
  
“You know, you can just laundry it when you’re done or maybe you can keep it.”  
  
“Stop.”  
  
“Sorry…”  
  
 It's only half of the way but he already panted. "Slow down, Seungkwan-ah." I can't hide my smile looking how weak he is. He suddenly grabbed my hand and it stopped me from walking. When I turned to look at him, his face became serious. What now?  
  
"Let's talk for a while, Seungkwan-ah."  
  
"No. Not today." I immediately answer him so I don't waver.  
  
"So, tomorrow?"  
  
"No, not tomorrow either. I will tell you when I'm ready." He was quiet for a while and nodded agreeing my decision.  
  
"Okay, I'll wait. Just...please, don't take too much time. I already sure with what I feel. So, you have to make sure too. I know that I already say it like thousands of time, but... I love you, Seungkwan-ah." He still hold my hand and shyly said,  
  
"By the way, you look cute in that pink t-shirt. I love it. You should use pink more often. But, I mean you still look cute with whatever you wear, it's not only when you're wearing the pink one." His face became red, I can't help but also blushed hearing his compliment. We were quiet for a while and finally he let go of my hand.  
  
"See you later, Seungkwan-ah." He went out to the emergency door.  
\--------------


	12. PART 6 (1): Only Look At Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vernon can't stand it anymore

**VERNON POV**  
  
It's been a month already. It's been a month since we talked in the stairs. It's been a month since he said that he needed time to be ready. It's been a month since I wanted to have a talk with him. It's been a month since I wanted to know how's his feeling about me. It's been a fucking month since he intentionally avoided me. It's been a month since I stalked all of his accounts and his video in Youtube, I even watched his videos in his channel on loop. Waiting like this really drives me crazy.  
  
But, he is not ready yet. I tried to understand. He doesn't want to be hurt again, so he is being careful to be in a relationship right now. I know it from one of his vlog about the back story of one of his original song. I really want to see how handsome that guy would be, because he looked like really loved him so much, and I want to punch him in the face for making my Seungkwan waiting for that jerk for 3 hours in a such cold season. Yes, he is 'my Seungkwan'.  
  
I've even told all of my members about my feeling for him and they surprisingly approved it and gave me support. They told me that they already guessed about it, also without my knowing, Seungcheol hyung and Wonwoo hyung won the bet. Well, they are my best friends after all.  
  
But, actually the most surprising thing happen when my boss, Mr. Han told me to go to his room a week ago.  
  
"Excuse me, Mr. Han, do you want to talk to me?" I opened the door and saw him checking several documents in his desk.  
  
"Oh, Hansol-ah, take a sit first." He closed his map and gave me his fierce look. That look always he used when he is angry or something serious happened. Am I in a trouble? After staring at me for a while, he finally spoke,  
  
"So, is there anything that you want to say to me? Maybe about something that happened with you recently."  
  
"What do you mean, sir?" I didn't really understand what he is saying when suddenly a reality hit me. Wait...is he know? Did Seungkwan tell him? No way...right? I kept my poker face. He overed me a cup of water. I drank it due to nervousness.  
  
"Well...are you seeing, you know...someone recently?", it made me choked my drink.  
  
"Pardon, sir?" Please no!!!!!  
  
"Let's go to the point, shall we?" I still didn't give any response and waiting..."I know that it's not a problem for you since you are already a senior and I already give you permission, but he is still a trainee. Seungkwan has a long way to go, don't you think?" He sipped his coffee and continued,  
  
"It's not that I disagree with your decision, but I think that you also need to considerate his position too. Apart from that, personally and honestly, I approve you with him. I mean he is a nice boy and I already know his family. He is a genius in music and a talented person, not to mention his humble personality. He is a perfect person to handle such a unique personality like you. But you need to be careful, Hansol-ah, he is a trainee after all."  
  
"Thank you, sir, for your advice and your support... I will considerate that...but, if I may know, who told you about.."  
  
"No one told me. Are you a new person here? I have eyes in this building, this is my place after all." He emphasizes in words 'eyes' and 'my place'.  
  
"Ah, that's right." damn CCTV!  
  
"Have you told him?" He sipped his coffee again and gave me a playful look.  
  
"Yes, I have, sir." I feel like a teenage boy who talking to my father about a person that I like.  
  
"Wah, you are really our Hansol. You are the man, Hansol-ah." He looked really proud with my sincerity. I felt happy with his compliment.  
  
"So, what was his reply? Are you guys already dating yet?"  
  
"No, sir...he told me to wait for him before he is ready. I think he is being careful with everything."  
  
"Ah, he is really a genuine boy, isn't he? Okay then, that's all I want to talk about. You can go now." He got back to his documents.  
  
"I'll take my leave, sir" I went to the door and opened it when suddenly Mr. Han said something that stopped me,  
  
"Ah, one more thing, Hansol-ah. Since you're already work here for a long time, you must be known every corner of this building that don't have CCTV on it, right?"  
  
"Yes, I do, sir." What does he mean now?  
  
"So, maybe you can 'attack' your boy in the off CCTV area. It will make me less awkward when monitoring. Or you can do it in your apartment, maybe... I don't apply any CCTV there." He can't hide his smile. What the hell??!! Did he see when I kissed... Noooooo!!!!!  
  
My face became red and I only can say, "Yes...yes, sir. And...and I'm sorry, I'll be careful next...time." He finally let out his laugh out loud. I went out his room and closed the door with a total red face. Oh my God, that was really embarrassing! My boss saw me kissing... I even felt more embarrassed just to think about that. Well, despite from the embarrassing moment, he is right. I can't be egoist, I should also think about Seungkwan’s condition.  
  
  
I saw Seungkwan in the receptionist desk, he was looking for the room schedules. I missed him so bad.  
  
"Hi."  
  
"Oh, hello, Hansol." He looked at me and looked back at the schedule.  
  
"So...how are you, Seungkwan-ah? Have you ready yet...or...", I straight to the point. He immediately fleed to the lift but I catched his bag and dragged him to the parking lot.  
  
"Hansol! Please, let me go!!!" We met Mr. Han, Seungcheol hyung and Mingyu hyung in the way and they only smiled looking me dragging Seungkwan by his bag.  
  
"Fighting, Hansol-ah!" Seungcheol hyung said it enthusiastically.  
  
"Don't take too long, he has another schedule to be done." That's the only Mr. Han said to us.  
  
"Mr. Han, Mingyu hyung, Seungcheol hyung, help me~" he said desperately.  
  
"Have fun, Seungkwan-ah." Mingyu hyung waved to him. I can see Seungkwan confused face that asking since when all of them are in my side.  
  
We got into the back seat of my car and I locked the door. He looked so annoyed,  
  
"Hansol, please unlocked the door. I have a practice at 5." I looked at my watch,  
  
"So, we still have 30 minutes left then." The parking lot was quiet that time, okay. I sat closer to him and cornered him while staring straight to his eyes. He was scared of my bold move. Out of nowhere he turned into the window and screamed,  
  
"WUAAAAAA!!!! Someone, HELP MEEE!!!!! HELP MEEE!!!"  
  
I was surprised with his sudden action. Is he getting crazy?! "Ya! What are you doing? People might misunderstand." I covered his mouth and pulled him closer to me. He was still grumbling with his mouth covered.  
  
"Be quiet, would you?" He finally calmed down and I uncovered his mouth slowly just to make sure he is not going to suddenly scream again.  
  
"I'm sorry, Seungkwan-ah. I just... I just miss you so bad and you've been avoiding me for a month. So, I want to be with you for a while, look at you to release my longing."  
  
"But we met 2 days ago."  
  
"I was working and you only there to bring lunch for the staffs. I mean, I not only need to look at you this time, I also need this private space." I gestured the space in the car. He seemed understand so he kept quiet. I looked at him thoroughly, his eyes, nose, lips. Don't want the past accident happened again, I saw his eyes instead of his lips.  
  
"How long the time you need for you to be ready?" I asked in the middle of my staring.  
  
He whispered, "I don't know..." I can see the changing of his eye sight, he looked at my lips this time.  
  
"What about now?", I reached his back and brought him closer to me. He didn't resist it this time, but just to make sure, I waited for a while still looking at his eyes as if I asked him for his permission.  
  
Seungkwan bit his lower lip and it made me can't hold it anymore. I pressed my lips against him slowly. After a while, I bit his lower lip a little and nipped it gently. This time he wasn't rejecting it, instead he was responding to the kiss by opening his mouth a little to give my tongue entrance to explore his mouth. I deepen the kiss by teasing his tongue with mine. Suddenly, when the situation was getting heated, he took the lead with sitting in my lap and pulled my head to his by grabbing my hair roughly. I don't know that he can do a passionate kiss like this. My heart can't stop beat uncontrollably when his tongue started to explore my mouth. He hissed and pushed me to the door and playfully sucking my tongue. Finally we broke the kiss because of the lack of air. We panted for a while but still looked at each other with want.  
  
Before, I only saw cute or shy expression, but right now is really different. I can see passion flamed in his eyes. I know that I'm a good kisser, but he is also a damn good kisser. I thought he would be a shy type but he changed into a wild type when he kisses. My hair and Seungkwan’s were in a total mess. We didn't change our position yet, he was still sitting in my lap. After I gain my breath back, I stroked his hair gently and said,  
  
"Would you do me a favour, Seungkwan-ah?" He nodded.  
  
"I want you to only have me in your mind and in your heart. Don't you ever see someone else. Please, only look at me...I love you, Seungkwan-ah." I don't know how many times I've said it. He gave me a sweet smile and said,  
  
"You also should only look at me, if you ever dare to look at other girls or boys, I will kill you." I smiled in response. "And also...I love you too, Hansol-ah." I was so surprised with his sudden confession; I hugged him and shouted like a little kid.  
  
"Wuaaaaaah!!! Thank you, Seungkwan-ah!!!" I'm so happy right now!!! After a while, he broke the silent by saying,  
  
"Hansol-ah, you know..."  
  
"What?" I let go off my hug.  
  
"I still do have 15 more minutes." He shyly smiled; it made me smiled. Without further ado, I pushed him so I'm in the top of him. We spent the rest of the minutes with the most passionate and deepest kiss than before.  
  
______________

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> one more chapter then you will be in the end of the story!!!  
> Like what I've told you before, I changed the characters into verkwan but the original of the characters can be seen through the title of the chapter.  
> this story was supposed to be for a female and male relationship...  
> for the part 1 and 5, I took it from the female's song  
> while the part 2,3,4, and 6 I took it from the male's song...  
> can you guess??? ;)


	13. PART 6 (2): Only Look At Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> basically, it's from Seungkwan POV and a little bit addition :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can you guess the original characters?

**Seungkwan POV**  
  
It's been a month since he wanted to have a talk with me. And it's been a month since I intentionally avoided him. I don't know how to do but to not meet him, if not then I'll miss him even more. I practiced as usual and in the time like this, my ideas for new songs are flowing like a flood. I manage to write 7 songs in a month, complete with the melody and the lyrics. I was so productive when I had lots of thought in my mind. I saw him occasionally in his personal studio, in the parking lot, and in the cafeteria. He had lots of schedule abroad recently. It's weird when I saw him in the television or in the news, it's not like him. It's like a totally different person. Maybe that's what a concept for. Between my confusion, I tried to look for an encouragement or maybe an advice in the online forum. I typed,  
  
'Hello, I want to ask something. So, I'm a junior in my office and there is a senior who puts his interest on me. He already confessed his feeling to me and wanted an answer from me. But, I don't know what I should do, because our condition is really different. I'm afraid if our relationship will burden his position and also mine. But, right now I really miss him like crazy. Please kindly give your advice here. Thank you.' please don't be mean... A few minute later, there are already dozens of replies to my posting.  
  
'You should get her, dude!' Is he just assuming my gender? Weird. I didn't mention my gender here.  
  
'Are you just making this story up? Who do you think you are? Cinderella?' Someone's completely jealous.  
  
'Fighting!!!' not really helping, but still, thank you.  
  
'Don't really bother with that. With love, a position doesn't matter. Who knows that the poor beauty can get the rich beast.' But he is the rich beauty and I'm the poor beast. Our condition is totally different.  
  
'Love comes first, bro.' Thanks, bro…whoever you are.  
  
'Just go get him. Or you will regret it for life. Ask him to compromise with your situation. Talking is everything, friend.' So wise, thank you.  
  
'This story is so me! I also meet this senior in my high school and...' Wait, why does she talk about herself?  
  
The last reply really hit me, 'Ask yourself. Is he worth it? Are you worth it? Is you love worth it? If the answer is yes, you don't need anything to doubt it.'  
  
That's right. Is he worth it? Am I worth it? Is my love worth it? I kept thinking about the answer for days. Until when he approached me who looking for my next schedule. Please, not now... I haven't got the answer yet. I quickly went to the lift so I don't need to have any conversation but he was faster than me. He grabbed my bag and dragged me outside the building to the parking lot. We met Mr. Han, Seungcheol hyung, and Mingyu hyung, they shouldn't see us together, especially with this position. They will misunderstand, but the next thing that they said surprising me the most.  
  
"Fighting, Hansol-ah!" Seungcheol hyung said it following our direction.  
  
"Don't take too long, he has another schedule to be done." Mr. Han said while still looking at his tablet. Wait, do they already know? And he also already knows that they know? Am I the only one who is being careful in this office? What the hell is happening? No! No, Help me!!!  
  
"Mr. Han, Mingyu hyung, Seungcheol hyung, help me~" I said desperately.  
  
"Have fun, Seungkwan-ah." Mingyu hyung waved and wink at me. No, it's not like you guys thinking.  
  
He throwed me to the back seat of his car, he also got in and locked the door. He cornered me by sitting closer. Ah, his scent...what should I do? I should contain myself!!! I screamed as hard as I can.  
  
"HELP ME!!!! PLEASE HELP ME!!!" He was panicking and immediately covered my mouth so I can be quiet.  
  
"Ya! People might misunderstand!" People are already misunderstand!!! I calmed myself cause I don't have any other options. He told me that he misses me so bad. Well, me too. And he needs to look at me this time with a private space. So do I. We were staring each other for a while. He looked at me in the eyes. That hazel dreamy eyes...  
  
"How long the time you need for you to be ready?" Not that question again. I hardly looking for the answer myself. I don't know what happened to me, but the only answer that I can give is,  
  
"I don't know..." The tension inside the car made me whispered.  
  
"What about now?", he hugged me and I couldn't resist. The other part of me really craving his touch so bad. His hazel eyes kept staring at me and it making me can't control the passion inside my core. I really want to kiss him so bad... As if he answering my desire,  
  
Slowly, he pressed his lips against mine. He bit my lower lips and nipped it gently. I responded it by opening my mouth a little. His tongue started to explore every part of my mouth. He playfully teasing my tongue; I can feel that he smiled between the kiss. I can't control it anymore, I moved to sit in his lap. It comes naturally for me, despite the fact that I never kiss someone before.  
  
He was a little bit taken aback by my sudden move. I licked his lips begging for entrance. He opened it so I can take turn to explore his mouth. I pushed him to the door and roughly grabbing his soft hair to deepen the kiss. I almost lack of air when the kiss reach its climax. When we can't hold it anymore, finally, we broke the kiss. But we kept looking each other with passion in our eyes.  
  
I weirdly like it, I mean I only saw people kissing in a movie and little bit gross out. But, honestly, it just feels right when I did it with him.  
  
After a few minutes, he came back to his sense and stroke my messy hair.  
  
"Would you do me a favour, Seungkwan-ah?" Everything for you, Hansol.  
  
"I want you to only have me in your mind and in your heart. Don't you ever see someone else. Please, only look at me...I love you, Seungkwan-ah." He said it again and I never bored to hear that. I smiled in respond and said,  
  
"You also should only look at me, if you ever dare to look at other girls or boys, I will kill you."... "And also...I love you too, Hansol-ah." There, I said it... Gosh!!! Finally... I can't help but blushing, it's because I've never done something lovey dovey like this before.  
  
After hearing my confession, he looked so surprise and happy at the same time. He suddenly hugged me and shouted.  
  
"Wuaaaaaah!!! Thank you, Seungkwan-ah!!!" Ah, I really happy with his cute reaction. I saw my watch and said,  
  
"Hansol, you know..." Should I said it? But, I still want to do it...  
  
"What?"  
  
"I still do have 15 more minutes." I bit my lower lips again. He catched my code and smiled. He pushed me so his body was in the top of mine.  
  
He gave me a pecked on the lips twice. And he continued it by giving a kiss to my forehead, my closed eyes, and lower down to my cheeks. He did it slowly. Finally, he kissed me on the lips with a long deep kiss. He licked my upper lip and continued with lower lip. It gave me a ticklish sensation. He pulled over and looked at me in the eyes again. He dreamily smiled like it was the best day ever for him.  
  
He kissed me again and I responded it by bitting his lower lip. We were fighting for dominance, he let me explore his mouth for a while, but he took the lead by playfully sucking my tongue. I hissed in respond, and it made him smiled.. He broke the kiss and panting while his face was still so close to me. He lower down his kiss on my neck. I can't help but moaned a little when he found my sweet spot. He bit that spot and gave a mark on it. It was a clear red mark, I should wear a high collar tomorrow. He kissed my ears and whispered,  
  
"I love you, Seungkwan-ah." It gave me shiver on my spine. He licked and kissed my neck again when suddenly my alarm rang,  
  
*KRINGGGGG!!!!  
  
Oh, I have 5 minutes left before the practice start. I pushed him slowly and he looked not really pleased with it.  
  
"Already? 2 minutes more?" He gave me his puppy eyes.  
  
"No. I need to fix my hair and my clothes." I sat back. He pouted and said,  
  
"Just take a break today, would you?"  
  
"Didn't you hear what Mr. Han told to us? I have practices to be done."  
  
He suddenly remembered about something and looked at the outside of the car.  
  
"What's wrong, Hansol?" I took out my phone and used it as a mirror. He looked at me in hesitation,  
  
"Well, you know... You do know that this building has a CCTV in every corner, right?"  
  
"Yes, I do...wait a minute, So right now someone is watching us kiss..." I looked at him in surprise, I can't even finish my sentence.  
  
"No. Don't worry, the CCTV can't reach us in this angle."  
  
"Wah...that's a relieve... I mean, that would be embarrassing if...well, you know." I continued applying fixing my hair. But he wasn't looked really sure; he strached his back neck and said,  
  
"And there is also a CCTV in every practice room. So..." Wait, I tried to process what is talking about. A CCTV in the practice room...so... Wait, what???! So when we kissed on the first time, it was recorded in the CCTV???! I screamed after realizing it.  
  
"What should we do? What if someone tell it to other people? And then..."  
  
"Don't worry, Seungkwan-ah... Mr. Han will not backstab his own artists. He will protect us." What the hell? It's even worse!!! Mr. Han saw us kissing??!  
  
"Mr. Han saw us..." I still can't face the reality.  
  
"Yes, he told me to be careful next time." He smiled as his last weapon. Oh my God!!! This is so embarrassing... What should I do when I meet him next time?  
  
"Don't worry too much, Seungkwan-ah. Just act normal when you meet him next time." Is he reading my mind? This fact made me dizzy. Well, there is nothing I can do. He also looked already accepting the fact. I nodded and got back to my hair. I checking my hair for the last time while he was staring at me in silent. I already get used to his staring right now.  
  
"Okay then, Hansol-ah. I'll go. Bye~" I opened the door but he pulled me to him. He gave me a long deep kiss. He broke the kiss after a while.  
  
"Hansol! You messed my hair" I checked it again through the car mirror. He wiped his lips with his thumb and giving his smirk.  
  
"But you still looked beautiful." Oh my God, stop looking at me like that. I don't want to argue more, so I left him or I'll be late for the practice.  
  
  
So maybe I can continue what we just started... no, I'm not only talking about the make out session you dirty minded people.  
  
I don't know whether it is a smart move or not, but the one thing I know is from all of the number of cases, I don't mind with this one.  
  
________

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it people! I want to congratulate myself for actually finished a story. 
> 
> I really really want Seungkwan and Vernon make a collaboration T....T I don't know if it will be happened or not.
> 
> Anyway, I just look at my document, and I have like three unfinished story....hahaha...in which two of them I don't plan the ending yet.  
> I'm currently writing one story...but yeah, you know...
> 
> Well, see you in another story (hopefully) :*


End file.
